_lately ridiculous and love_

Its been a bit since I've posted an entry simply because I wasn't stuck at home with breathing problems. Instead I've been working, at family functions and briefly attending my friends/family's birthday functions. Justin and I went to a barbeque at my Dad's house two weeks ago (Saturday) and Sunday I'm not quite sure what I did. I worked through the week and then Friday went to Ize's birthday din din at Gordon Biersch. I guess there's been a lot of loss lately and before I went into the restaurant I had a hard time thinking about it all. My Auntie Zona, on my Dad's side, passed away a couple weeks ago and her wake was this past Saturday. Also, my tennis coach (Mr. Medrano) passed away before that. It seems like we're getting to the age when our mentors and our loved ones are slipping away. It really got me down. It was rough because I hadn't seen my Auntie Zona at all since maybe 3 Christmas celebrations ago. The past few years its been just my father, stepmom, sister, brother and myself at my Dad's side of Christmas Eve because my Mom's side is always on Christmas Day. I hadn't seen her until I saw her in the hospital: she was hooked up to these machines, very thin and emaciated and she looked positively horrible. The life really looked taken from her and it was a state I wish I hadn't seen her in. I know she wants us to remember her as that bright, warm and loving person she was.

Justin and I were not dressed properly for Dirty Martini after dinner for Ize's bday so we left. I was pretty tired and I missed out and hanging out and drinking with my buddies, but I didn't know we were going to a bar afterwards or else I would've told Justin to dress up and I would have myself. What can you do, its past. I spent most of Saturday either sitting in a cold, cement reception room at a cemetary or at a seafood restaurant surrounded by family members (most of whose names escape me) and afterwards I drove my brother and sister-in-law back to my mom's house and then went back to Justin's to spend the night so I could help him move his things in. He got his new furniture Sunday afternoon and we moved some of his boxes around and such and the new digs are delightful. The footboard of his bed was broken during delivery so he's going to get that later, but other than that the warm brown wood looks really nice and I'm happy that his room is finally coming together. I think that he really needed a comforting environment to feel "at home." After we hung out with Jorge for a bit Justin and I had to head off to dinner in Chinatown for my uncle's family association's Chinese New Year celebration. The night started off very slowly (we got there at 6pm and dinner wasn't served until 8pm) because there was an elaborate lion dancing performance and nearly all of the elders gave a speech entirely in Chinese and THEN food was served. Justin was VERY adventurous (he ate jellyfish, cow tongue, fungus, and dried oysters and even took seconds) and after 10 courses we headed out. By the end of the longest dinner ever Just and I were pooped so we went back to his place and fell asleep. I got up early to go home and get ready for work and here I am in my normal cycle, but with a couple healthy challenges. I'm attempting to get into better habits--smaller meals more often, less calories, more water, pilates once a day. Of course the smaller meals and less calories is difficult when a co-worker of mine (whom the day crew has named "mama Unhui") brought me breakfast two days in a row. The first day she brought these cinamon pretzel bites from Auntie Anne's which I resisted. Today, however, she brought me my very own sausage, egg and cheese croissandwich and I didn't want to say no so I ate it. She also practically force-fed me these cute little tatertots. I brought food home and ate it before and after I exercised and thought that would be it except for a snack later (maybe), but now my mom is going to bring home leftovers from a banquet she had at her office today. I can't escape food! Hey, at least people care enough about me to want to bring me food. That's awesome.

Other than not spending enough time with my beloved friends and having illnesses (the plerisy thing and then I squashed my head in my car door so hard the right side of my face went numb, including my tongue and it still hurts), life has been pretty good. Work has been semi-slow, but I enjoy my co-workers (and sometimes the customers) and I get out of there quickly. I see my boyfriend often because he comes to see me and even spends time at family functions...in fact I think he enjoys it. I really am happy he's in my life. Just is so important to me. School is coming within the next month and I'm excited and, somehow, my financial records don't mention anything about payment for spring quarter. I am going to keep up on that though because I have enough paperwork problems as it is in my educational past. I KNOW there will be problems with processing this or that so I've accepted that. I just want to get back into school and back into that portion of my life. My brother's trying to remind me to follow what I desire and try to create my own magazine that is written by students and funded by public school systems. I just want to figure out what will work and where I'll be most happy. That's really enough now. Sorry Just--I know if you've even read this far it must have been very painful. My posts are long because I always have too much to say.